Tarzan Underwear is Dangerous

Only a parent knows the mind of a child, especially a parent who has tried to potty-train a two-year old boy. Lori and I are currently trying to potty-train William. We have tried everything. Currently we are simply putting underwear on William and hoping for the best. Should the worse occur, we hope that discomfort will (eventually?) persuade him that going in the potty is preferable to going in his undies.

If parents are born as opposed to made, I clearly lack the potty-training gene. When Lori and I attempted to entice – persuade – order William to wear a pair of briefs adorned with the Lord of the Jungle, we were rebuffed with the wild and dramatic cry, "I can’t wear them; they’re dangerous!" I am presently searching the Internet to see if Depends makes sizes appropriate for little people.

William does not understand the necessity of potty training. After all, everything has worked well for him so far. He goes. We change him. He goes again. What could possibly be easier and more convenient for him? Clearly, William is thinking as a child. One day, hopefully in the not-too-distant future, William will believe that he should use the potty.

The Bible understands that people mature, and grow in knowledge (Heb. 5:12-6:2). The Bible describes those in need of instruction as "babes" (Heb. 5:13; 1 Cor. 3:1). Paul and the writer of Hebrews (quite possibly Paul again) use our familiarity with children as an illustration to describe new converts because we understand that babies are ignorant of many things they must learn to survive in this world such as walk, avoid hot stoves, and (hopefully) how to use toilets.

Nonetheless, there are those who believe and teach that unless a baby is baptized, it will not go to heaven even if it dies as a baby. Thus, uninspired men have created the unbiblical doctrine of infant baptism.

The Bible describes baptism as an "elementary principle" that must be taught (Heb. 6:1-2). Philip undoubtedly explained baptism to the Ethiopian Eunuch because Philip had to explain the necessity of belief before baptism (Acts 8:36-37).

William is having a difficult time understanding the necessity of toilet training and wearing underwear. As his father, I am confident he cannot appreciate the necessity of baptism, what it accomplishes, or why. William believes wearing Tarzan underwear is dangerous, but he will survive this. However, teaching people that infant baptism saves children, now that is dangerous.