Dear Husband and Wife:
Words poorly express the pain and disappointment I feel about your news to get a divorce. I cannot imagine going through the stress and trauma that must be associated with your ordeal. Emotions run strong during times like these, however it is important that we guide our footsteps with a much more dependable standard than our feelings. What would God’s guidance be in this situation?
Matthew 19:3 - “And there came unto him Pharisees, trying him, and saying, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4And he answered and said, Have ye not read, that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, 5and said, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh? 6So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 7They say unto him, Why then did Moses command to give a bill of divorcement, and to put her away? 8He saith unto them, Moses for your hardness of heart suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it hath not been so.”
1Corinthians 7:10 – “But unto the married I give charge, yea not I, but the Lord, That the wife depart not from her husband 11(but should she depart, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband); and that the husband leave not his wife.” (It seems to me that the parenthetical statement here is closely related to Matthew 19:8 above because 1 Cor.7:10 has already stated that the Lord gives charge to depart not. The extra admonition only seems to be needed because hardness of heart could come. I do not gain a lot of confidence that the Lord is satisfied with divorce based on this one verse even though many use it for that. RKB)
Malachi 2:16 – “For I hate putting away, saith Jehovah, the God of Israel,”
For the two of you to be wanting, or accepting, to end the marriage things have not been as they should be.
Ephesians 5:25 – “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it; 26that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, 27that he might present the church to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28Even so ought husbands also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his own wife loveth himself: 29for no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as Christ also the church”; (If the problem is here husband, please repent, ask your wife’s forgiveness, and pray for God’s forgiveness. Put things back into their proper perspective and work with your wife to get back together as God states in 1Cor 7:11. RKB)
Ephesians 5:22 -“Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, being himself the saviour of the body. 24But as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their husbands in everything. (If the problem is here, then wife please repent, ask your husband’s forgiveness, and pray for God’s forgiveness. Then put your life in its proper order be reconciled to your husband as God says. RKB)
1 Peter 3:7 – “Ye husbands, in like manner, dwell with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor unto the woman, as unto the weaker vessel, as being also joint-heirs of the grace of life; to the end that your prayers be not hindered. (If you have not lived with your wife in the way that she needs you to then repent, pray, get busy. Don’t give up. RKB)
Matthew 19:9 – “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and he that marrieth her when she is put away committeth adultery.” (There is nothing in scripture to indicate that either one of you, husband and wife, would ever have any godly reason to go on and marry another because fornication was not the cause for this divorce.)
These are just some of the things that God has to say about married life, and you are well aware of what they say, but sometimes it is good to hear them again. God’s (and Satan’s) viewpoint on your decisions is really what matters. My emotional response, your relatives’ thoughts, your church friends’ advice, and your psychologists’ coaching are not going to help you get to heaven if their advice doesn’t match up perfectly with God’s will.
John 12:48 – “He that rejecteth me, and receiveth not my sayings, hath one that judgeth him: the word that I spake, the same shall judge him in the last day. 49For I spake not from myself; but the Father that sent me, he hath given me a commandment, what I should say, and what I should speak.”
Both of you have much of your lives left to live if the Lord wills. One of the results of giving up on your marriage is sentencing each other to the rest of your lives fighting higher levels of temptation than you really had to. Your marriage is supposed to be a tool for helping each other get to heaven – is your decision going to do that for each of you?
Please reconsider your actions, in light of God’s will, and do the right thing. Think eternity, think judgment day, don’t think in the modern wisdom of the people that we live among. This is too important of a topic to deal with on only emotional terms.
I pray that you will receive these thoughts in the way intended. Gal 4:16 So then am I become your enemy, by telling you the truth?
1 John 5:2 – “Hereby we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and do his commandments.”
I love you both,
Your Friend in Christ
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